i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
