do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
