We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
