i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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