is your mom at the bar?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
