But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
