why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
