who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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