.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
