You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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