i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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