my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize