She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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