well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
