white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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