Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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