On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
