This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
