I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize