and you said cock pushups were impossible
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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