Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize