Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
