you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
