Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
