We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
