The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
