I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
