it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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