this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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