hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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