So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize