She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My orgasm happened in two different decades
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
