I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
