You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
