party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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