Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am spending my child support on dildos
Farmville is her only friend.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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