Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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