Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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