took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
