i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
