Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
