She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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