Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
