in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i now understand why vodka
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
