She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
