The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
