Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
