At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
