whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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