id be glad to
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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