I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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