i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize