NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
