You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
