Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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