I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
