If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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