so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
