Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
How does one acquire holy water?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
