It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
