North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I will pee on everything he values.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
