Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
