awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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