we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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