problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
