maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
