my mouth tastes like poor choices
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
