Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and i looked up. we had an audience...
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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