Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
